動中求定 Off the running wheel

Recently I have been feeling more and more the need for me to get in touch with the innermost of my being on a regular basis.
It is so easy to let myself drift along the current of daily life without even a slightest awareness of my thoughts or behaviors here and now at each moment. It's like having myself hooked at the rim of a running wheel: life keeps running around in a circle that leaves me nowhere, as if stuck to merry-go-round in a deserted playground.
Perhaps what I need to do is to move away from the rim and toward the center of the running wheel, where I can get a clearer sense about if and/or where my wheel of life is going.
Which means a constant battle of fighting the centrifugal force that keeps pushing my outward. I will probably be doomed, like Sisyphus repetitively rolling the rock up the hill only to see it roll down to where he started.
Sounds awfully and monotonously mundane. Still, I cannot help but agree with the saying that the uncontemplated life is not worth living. At least I will have the choice: to roll or not to roll the rock.
If it ends up like Sisyphus, so be it; if I am lucky enough, maybe the rock rolling will be turned into rock&roll.